midlife mellow

Hot flash hiatus. I am rarely bored. But today was one of those days where I lacked motivation to do much of anything interesting. While I was pondering my extremely slow day, I realized that I've had virtually no hot flashes this summer vacation. Maybe one. One very mild one. This is from a woman who gets them pretty much daily for the past year or so. What, pray tell, do I owe this bonanza to? Process of elimination leads me to one thing, less multitasking.
But I live for multitasking. My whole adult life has been one big string of multitasking. Summer has meant no work, fewer obligations, less volunteering. Yes, I'm still driving my kids around to their various summer activities and going on my daily grocery store trips, but life has slowed down considerably. And you know what? For the first time in years, I've really enjoyed it. I like getting up on a warm morning, taking a long leisurely walk with my dog at the lake, heading off for a cold soda, and coming back home to enjoy my day. I must be getting older. There's a lot to be said for being busy, but I don't feel like saying anything right now. I'm just reveling in the peace and hot flashless days of summer.

reality check

Ok. So there I was a couple hours ago, scooping M&M cookie dough onto cookie sheets when my daughter's friend asked me "Why DO you bake so much?" She said it with sincerity, and it went through my chest like a dagger. My daughter stopped and looked at me. She mumbled a few words because she knows this is one of those subjects I'm hypersensitive about. She said "obsession?", I said, "yes". She said, "addiction?", I said "yes". She never assumed I just enjoy baking, because who would when you bake the same thing over and over again. It's not like I'm testing recipes or working at a bakery. I'm spooning the same dough over and over again. It's a problem. She asked me if I eat the cookies. I said, "not really. I just eat the dough." Again, ugh. Will it stop me? No. Should it? Yes. Life is like that sometimes.