What the heck happened? A mere 17 years ago, Doug and I had our first baby together. It was a kewpie of a girl. Nearly bald and supremely beautiful. Tonight was her senior prom. A few nights ago, I sat looking at the screen of her college website. I cried. Not ready yet. Simply not ready for her to go. When each one leaves, it's painful and poignant. I don't like it. I get all stoic and try to tell myself there's not a damn thing I can do about it, but I lose it none the less.
In about two months, she will leave her nest. I'll have two babies left at home. Problem is, they are no longer babies. They are teenagers. Growing, changing, thriving young adults. What they are supposed to grow up to be, but what is sheer terror for a mother. They leave. They all leave.
Like I said, I don't like it. One little bit.
Oh well, like I get a say in it. Time to grow up Mom. It's life. They go. I went. My Mom cried. I remember hearing that from my Dad and feeling my heart sink because I hurt her but I was happy to start a new, adult life. I'm keeping that in mind as my next one leaves the nest for bigger and better things. It's not my life, it's hers. It's not my pain that's important, it's her joy. Joy in finding herself, joy in making mistakes, joy in forging a path. I'll get by but I don't have to like it. (.;
